Shabbat Parashat Vayechi 5786

Parashat Hashavua: More on Weddings and Mending Family Fractures

We discussed last time how marriages for the wrong reasons can cause one to lose his claim to leadership. This week we will discuss marriages that helped heal fractures, specifically in the tribes of Yehuda and Menashe.

The leadership struggle between Yehuda and Yosef, for the time and for all of history, accompanies the narrative starting from Parashat Vayeishev, including harsh events. On the other hand, there were also moments of great grace and self-sacrifice that healed wounds. These moments allowed the tensions to ease and enabled national energies to be channeled for positive matters.  

The offspring of Yehuda and of Yosef had a common denominator – they had a status of nobility in the Israelite community in Egypt. Yosef is considered the crown of his brothers (Bereishit 49:26), as his standing as viceroy elevated the whole family. Yehuda, on the other hand, was a major part of the delegation who felt the need to approach Yosef after Yaakov’s funeral, with the suggestion of “We are slaves to you” (ibid. 50:18). The descendants of Yosef’s son Menashe were also frustrated over the fact that Yaakov gave precedence and prominence to Ephrayim and his family (ibid. 48:19-20).

What did these families (families used to be the dominant factors in a couple’s match) do to deal with their situation? The pasuk (Divrei Hayamim I, 2:21-22) tells that Chetzron (the firstborn of Yehuda’s most prominent son, Peretz, through whom went the chain to the monarchal dynasty) married the daughter of Menashe’s son Machir. One of this couple’s offspring was the prominent Yair. This marriage occurred many years before the Exodus from Egypt. We note that Machir also married off his daughter to a tribesman of Binyamin (compare Divrei Hayamim I, 7:11 and Bereishit 46:21).

It is possible to look at these steps as “alliances of the disappointed losers,” as at the time, Chetzron, Menashe, and Binyamin were not in leadership positions. But we prefer to raise a different possibility with a stronger message, which is more likely to be true. The people of Yehuda, as led by Chetzron, and the people of Yosef, as led by Machir, understood that the tension between Yehuda and Yosef, which caused the sale of Yosef and thereby the exile to Egypt, needed to be remedied.

Only repentance and acceptance of the concept of mutual responsibility could advance the nation and ensure redemption. The sons of Leah had to be ready to pay a price and Yosef had to show magnanimity in forgiving his brothers. These steps paved the way for the future wedding that furthered the joining together of the potentially rival tribes. This joining together is far better than the question of “Who will be at the head?”

Mutual responsibility and being willing to share the burden are that which advance Israel toward repentance of portions of the nation, in the religious and the social realms, and full liberation.

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