Shabbat Parashat Chayei Sarah 5784

Parashat Hashavua: Was Avishag “Set Up” with David?

The Torah introduces the story of the search for a wife for Yitzchak with the words, “Avraham was old, coming in days” (Bereishit 24:1). According to most commentaries, these words explain Avraham’s concern: If he would not arrange a wife for Yitzchak who was fit to be one of the nation’s matriarchs, it might become too late.

Clearly, this story became a symbol and a model to copy for generations in the following way. The basis of the family relationship must be the attribute of kindness combined with interpersonal wisdom. This is certainly the case when the house that was being founded was to carry on the legacy of Avraham, the ultimate educator of mercy and kindness for his offspring and generations of the nation they would form.

This week’s haftara begins with the same words about advancing age, just about King David, as opposed to Avraham. What is the significance of the apparent connection?

The “match” between David and Avishag is ostensibly the antithesis of the type of positive shidduch we know of through the generations. David’s servants suggested to search for the prettiest maiden in Israel, who would sleep along with him. This sounds more like the ideas of the advisers of Achashveirosh, known for lack of modesty, than it does for the leader of the nation that comes from Avraham and Sarah. Remember that the cloud over Sarah’s tent symbolized the perfect situation of: “When a couple is worthy, the Divine Presence is with them.” Chazal also tell us that the G-d of Avraham hates promiscuity (Sanhedrin 93a). We must conclude that the idea was of David’s servants who opposed the accession of Shlomo, the son of Bat Sheva, who made this suggestion to complicate matters. They did not understand the power of repentance and therefore opposed the prospect of the son of Bat Sheva, who had begun her relationship with David in sin, becoming king. This is hinted at by the fact that their suggestion to David is worded to overlap linguistically with the prophet’s rebuke of David from that incident (compare Melachim I, 1:2 and Shmuel II, 12:3). They wanted it to appear that David’s judgment could not be trusted. It is likely that this plotter was either Yoav, the chief of staff, or Evyatar, the Kohen Gadol, both supporters of Adoniyahu for king.

We see in our haftara that David did not approve the plan, as he did not do anything operative in this regard. It is also noteworthy that women did not volunteer for the “job,” which speaks nicely about them. Avishag, who was taken, did not end up sleeping with David, but acted more as a nurse or executive secretary. The fact that David did not have relations with her showed the extent of his repentance for his previous mistake with Batsheva. Thus, there never was a “match” made, and therefore David’s comparison to Avraham turns out to be a compliment for him, making the parasha and the haftara a good “match.” Both men deserve the title zaken, in its spiritual, not chronological meaning (see Yoma 28b).

Unfortunately, the phenomenon of older singles has increased, even though it includes many spiritual dangers. We call on anyone who can help finding practical solutions to step up and do so.

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