We hope that the caregiver will give your mother the help she needs. Most Filipino caregivers are kind and cooperative about following the home’s rules, including kashrut. Where possible, it is best for all concerned to avoid rules that create tension, as good relationships are crucial for the welfare of an infirm dear one. On the other hand, halacha requires taking precautions and not relying on subjective impressions. Sometimes rules that are restrictive but simple to follow work better than rules that are lenient but produce complex situations. These in turn can cause mistakes and generate stress that accompanies scrutiny and perceived recrimination. While we hope to find a golden mean for your situation, there is room for adjustments and further allowances if the situation warrants them.
The basic rules of bishul akum (cooking done by a non-Jew) can be formulated in a sentence. A non-Jew may not cook food that is not eaten raw, turning it into first-class food, without a Jew’s involvement in the process. We will deal with each component very briefly:
Cooking: While most methods of preparing food by means of heat are forbidden, the smoking process is permitted.[1] Poskim discuss whether the prohibition extends to a microwave oven.[2] Although few permit it, it can be a mitigating factor.
Not eaten raw: If a non-Jew cooks food that is sometimes eaten raw, even if it is usually cooked, the food is permitted.[3] Not only are boiled milk and water permitted for this reason, but coffee and tea, whose principle ingredient is water, also are.[4] Cooked carrots are another classic example. A non-Jew may reheat food that a Jew already rendered edible.
First-class food: Only food that nobility would serve is included in the prohibition.[5] This subjective criterion likely rules out cooked breakfast cereals like farina and oatmeal, French fries, and more. This category is society based; many cases are borderline or depend on machlokot.[6] Thus, we give few details and warn about overuse.
The next category enables developing a reliable plan:
Involvement of a Jew: Regarding the related prohibition of bread baked by a non-Jew, the gemara[7] says that it is sufficient that a Jew light the oven. The Shulchan Aruch[8] and Sephardic practice, regarding the more stringent laws of bishul akum, require a Jew to put the food on the fire (or light the fire after the food is in position) or stir the food as it cooks. The Rama[9] and Ashkenazic practice permit the food if a Jew lit the fire, even at the beginning of the day and even if the non-Jew does all of the actual cooking. Furthermore, the Rama suggests that even if a Jew just lit the flame that a non-Jew used to light the stove, it suffices. This leniency extends to ovens with pilot lights and also to having a Jew light a ‘yahrtzeit candle’ that a non-Jew uses to light (the match that lights) a gas stove. The Aruch HaShulchan[10] says that one should rely on this last opinion only in the event of acute need and in the home of a Jew, but both factors are present here. The significance of it being in a Jewish house is two-fold: Firstly, it is likely that a Jew will do some stirring;[11] also, there is an opinion[12] that bishul akum applies only to cooking in a non-Jew’s house. Although we do not accept that opinion independently, poskim sometimes use it as a mitigating factor, especially if the cook is a hired worker.[13] (The Yechaveh Da’at[14] uses this reasoning to justify Sephardim who rely on a Jew to light the fire in a Jewish-owned restaurant). A Jew would have to turn on electrical appliances.
Due to a few kashrut considerations, it is best that the caregiver brings home only kosher food. However, if the caregiver demands the freedom to cook for herself, she should have her own clearly marked utensils, which she should clean separately. Regarding cooking for your mother, there are two preferable systems: If your mother can be in or around the kitchen, she can supervise its proper use (especially milk-meat) and light the fire. If she rarely gets out of bed, it is best if a Jew cooks the food or one is available to light the flame. If this is not possible, then the specific laws should be examined more carefully and a rabbi should address the specific needs and circumstances to arrive at a correct approach for your mother’s halachic and general well-being.